Tonight on my US Airways flight from Myrtle Beach to Charlotte, we were delayed taking off because one of the overhead bins in the back of the plane wouldn’t close.
One of the flight attendants, who had joyfully announced that he was retiring in a month, exclaimed to his peers “why don’t we just duck tape it and get the hell out of here??”
I like this guy, I thought.
About 5 minutes later, a maintenance man comes on board with duck tape and says “thank God for United.”
Yes, thank God for United.
Eventually we take off. The old man sitting beside me wasn’t too creepy so I engaged in the conversation he struck up with me. When we got on the subject of what we do for a living he told me (no joke) that he “takes companies that have basically become piles of S#%@ and transforms them into successful organizations.”
“Is that your official mission statement?” I asked. J
We chit chat and are in Charlotte in no time (must have been real fast for him since he drank two vodkas on the 35 minute flight).
I get to my gate in Charlotte- no time to stop and get dinner due to the short connection. Once at the gate, the flight attendant announces that we can’t start boarding because one of the seats in first class is broken, and the maintenance man is on board fixing it. “What is up with the maintenance issues on Mother’s Day?!” I say to myself.
“It should be just a couple of minutes,” she announces.
I think to myself, “Yeah…… right... just a couple of minutes..."
It always annoys me when airline crews say that when we all know that “just a couple of minutes” really means “we have no idea what the heck is going on and how long this is going to take so by all means... talk amongst yourselves.”
Why don’t they just say, “Realistically we are not going to resolve this issue within the next 10 minutes, so if you would like to go get a smoothie or a personal pan pizza, then you have plenty of time to do so.” After all, this is what everyone in the gate is wondering anyway- whether or not they have time to go to the bathroom or sprint to Starbucks and back.
Knowing full well that I have plenty of time to go grab a smoothie, I head to the main concourse, thinking along the way, with my luck, the seat broken will be mine.
Please don’t be 1D, please don’t be 1D…
We eventually start boarding, and all is well. Once seated, I look to my left, and would you know, across the aisle I see that it is 1C that is broken. PHEW.
The gentleman seated beside me doesn’t start any conversation. And since the cardinal rule of airplane chit chat is that if it doesn’t start within 30 seconds then it’s pretty much guaranteed you won’t be talking the whole flight, I feel relaxed that I can just enjoy the silence.
Silence that is, until this gentleman (who is wearing Bose soundproof headphones) orders his beverage of choice:
“CRANBERRY JUICE PLEASE!!!” he shouts.
I chuckle and start typing this story on my laptop to pass the time. I had intended to write a Mother’s Day blog in appreciation of my mom who has helped get me through a very difficult past 16 months. But intentions are frequently interrupted where travel is involved…
So I will dedicate this post to her- Thank you “Marmie” for always answering the phone when I call… talking me through late night car rides to help keep me awake… talking me through day time car rides to keep me company… for celebrating my successes, and supporting me through my failures (which you would never consider failures)…
But most importantly, for passing on to me, your sense of humor which allows me to laugh at each day, no matter what it brings… thank you! I love you! Happy Mother’s Day.
